Doom Bluegrass
julian date 2461027.43066
Doom Bluegrass
Table of Contents
Free Time
Don’t Bring Your F*cking Phone
Forgetting and Migration
There is no Planet B
Guy Who Spills Coffee on Himself
Mr. Jupiter and Starmen
Free Time
“Free the magic stones!,” they shouted at their boss.
Their boss, the Head Sorcerer, was a mean old brute, long in the tooth and liberal with conservatism. Their boss beat them everyday with gaslighting, double-dealing, and secret-keeping.
The plot enters a climax when the Head Sorcerer’s Independent Study students discover that the school’s board of directors were planning to harvest and monopolize the planet’s magic stone resources. They pretended that they intended to do good, but it was just marketing.
The group discovers the plan to persuade the students to sell the stones for them. They would get them to stay quiet by implicating them in illegal activity.
The students decided in solidarity what should be done: dissolve the board with a Magic Sealing Book, then reveal the board’s plans to the public with telepathy. The magic stones, rescued, are donated to the Library of Occulus and made available to any wizard on loan with boundary magic to protect them from theft.
“We put the bosses in the book and we closed it,” the student group, now named The Misc said simultaneously, when interviewed by Apple Orange Press.
Don’t Bring Your F*cking Boss
Choking Victim taught us in their album No Gods, No Managers that we should not look to corporations to give us a model for our society. God is not a manager for which we have to put on a good face. Managers are not gods.
The moment I became free of a boss who ensorcelled me to submit to their will, I was soooo pumped. The same day, my contact Hael advised me to do a 5 minute walk every 30 minutes. The first thing I did was run into a snowy field, and hurt my ankle. You may be tempted to run full bore across a field of snow the moment you are free of those that boss you around. Do it, just stay low, and be careful of your ankles.
This Part
Because of our cyber world, our physical bodies suffer from atrophy, confusion, and overproduction. Overproduction is something I suffer from. I make so much art that my life experiences, thoughts, and conversations are mutated into work.
Due to overfishing, I have a surplus of dried fish. I have too many for myself, and so I need to find a way to disperse them. I would not be ashamed becoming a fishmonger, but what calls to me more is catching the fish. I’m a Halibut, so that seems natural.
What to do, what to do with freedom? The first thing I am doing is walking every half hour if I’m working.
See Schwartz and Oppezzo (2014); Gilchrist Howard et al. (2020).
Brief discussion of the ^above^ articles.
I spoke with Leah again (see her website LeahFlumerfelt.com here). Leah is a scientist for her dayjob. Elsewise, she makes party favors. When I talked to Leah this time, she was laying out burgundy and tumeric colored-scalloped-paper and getting ready to install rhinestones on them to make crowns.
Leah showed me the below graphs from the 2020 study. These show that it’s better for our health and chances of not getting cancer to only have about 11 hours of sedentary time per day on average. That includes sleep. So if you slept 8hrs per night, you would only have 3 total hours of sedentary time left.
But if you split those 3 hours up with periods of non-sedentary time, then you can reduce hazards to your health.
Good on you if you don’t need any of this advice! So far only one person I have told about this said that they already have a good ratio.
I’m not sure I get that much done by walking for 5mins every 30mins, but I am also not sure I get that much done by sitting for 4 hours straight.
Migration, Primatology and Forgetting
(Achtung!: None of this has been peer-reviewed for accuracy. I did my best. Think of it as me attempting to relate interesting ideas I think that I understand! I am not a source of scientific authority, daggum!)
I am curious about the factors that cause evolution of species. And because of that, I am also fascinated by misunderstandings of evolution.
The misunderstanding of genetics that racial supremacists reveal when they talk racial superiority encouraged me to brush up on evolutionary theory. The first thing I noticed is that it’s not simple to brush up on this topic quickly. The following paragraphs reflect my light research done today, conclusions I drew from stuff I have read in the past, and 18-year-old memories (still solid) from AP Biology.
First, know that you may not even share most of your genes with your parents. You might have more genetically in common with a great-great-great-great-great grandmother than your own mother. Genes are not passed down neatly. Know this.
Know also that,
“All humans share a remarkably high percentage of their DNA. Approximately 99.9% of DNA is identical among all people on Earth. This high degree of similarity holds true regardless of an individual’s perceived race, ethnicity, or geographic origin. This shared genetic core signifies a fundamental biological identity across the human species.
This overwhelming commonality indicates that the vast majority of our genetic code is dedicated to defining what makes us human. The 0.1% difference, though small, accounts for all the variations that make each individual unique. This includes diverse physical traits and varying susceptibilities to diseases.”
“One Species, Worldwide”, Smithsonian Institute
[Skin Color Variation], Smithsonian Institute
Third thing to know is that the mechanisms of evolution never refer to anything other than entire populations. One rural town may inbreed, but it does not evolve alone. Evolution theory works on the total sum of gene alleles in a population. Humans have not evolved for about 300,000 years (see above links from Smithsonian).
Now that I have set those warnings, I’ll get back into the light discussion of migration in evolution.
Migration is one of four important factors of evolution. Migration introduces uncommon or rare gene variants into the geographical gene pools available for potential reproduction. Mating human pairs meet, and if they have children, their genetic possibilities are passed along. Humans migrate. When they migrate and pair with people who live where they’ve moved to, they pass their genetic possibility along. The actual genetic content of the entire population is affected on a large scale by migrations and reproductions that add up over time.
Back in the day, people were not able to migrate as they can today. Back then, it was mostly through war and conquest that genes mingled between humans separated by ocean, mountain and desert. Will that accelerate evolution? I feel like no, since even if you travel to Morocco and have kids, the people there would be 99.9% genetically identical to you, and your kids would not be more diverse than if you had kids with someone who lives next to you.
Neanderthals and other apes that are related to us genetically were the last time there was a similar species against which our species was a direct competitor.
Will humans ever evolve into separate species? Only millions of years will tell. For now, we suffer the propaganda of outgrouping, an ape behavior staple, which tells us that people who think or look different from us are fundamentally different. Only by ridiculous and imaginary comparison are they different. How tragic that despite this, this loony logic shapes the lives of us all.
Get informed?
Reading I didn’t do, but I thought would probably inform me if I spent the time to get informed (I only read the abstracts):
Selection and adaptation in human migration. Bell (2023)
Evolutionary basis... Campbell and Barone (2012)
There is No Planet B
“Your hair is so blonde / Like cattails at the rim of pond.” - Imaginary Love Letter to Myself
Little Guy Who Spills Coffee On Themself and Doom Bluegrass
Im a rebel from technology
Got a zombie-bot lobotomy
Peaceful bees make me cringe and whinge
You whimper urself to sleep like u got off a Hinge binge
Beauty runs deep like an otter’s inner sex life
Fame rang the bell and you drool on the ham knife
You travel on a yellow cloud above the paint, proud
A four-car alarm to me sounds loud
Companys’ got diagrams of your daughter’s diaphragm and diva cup
I farm out white space on lined-paper furrows, so what’s up?
Like Metal Face Doom, I’m an artistic sharecropper
That Middle class prince clown lives like a pauper
Some bullies get offended by my long red scarf — lore.
I want to do more of whatever they made fun of me for.
You ride them, try to copulate, get a second date.
Men admire other men. Men play it tough, pretend, skate.
Gay for Grandpa
My grandpa died when my mom was young, and so he was dead for two decades by the time I arrived on the scene. My mom says the nicest things about him. I have always wanted to be like him. I wanted to be like my mom too for honoring his memory.
I looked over at my nightstand and saw that I had his picture there in a suit, with his eyes closed holding a piece of paper. He looks like he is about to deliver a speech. He too was an actor, and aspired to be a writer. If only newsletters and blogs had been around for him!
But wow, it struck me, my love for a relative I’ve never met is similar to the love i have for artists I admire. I want to be like them. I want to follow their example. I look up to MF DOOM. I use his instrumentals to write my poetry.
Having a role model is like having a Hero. I want to live my life like my Hero that I look up to. It’s so romantic and loyal.
Does the experience of feeling love and admiration for someone you respect change based on who you’re sexually attracted to and who you are not? What’s the difference between wanting to have someone’s babies and wanting to make art similar to them, or to live up to their principles, or continue their life’s work?
Enderlude X23
“Everyone’s a voyeurist, and they’re watching me watch them watch me right now”
- Isaac Brock (Modest Mouse)
So spot on.
“A lot of white boys like the style and copy” - Deltron 3030
I cannot help but love Del tha Funkee Homosapien. It was in part because of him that I wanted to start learning to rap. I don’t know how I would copy him, but I have memorized his tracks more than once.
Bonus: Mr. Jupiter and Starmen
Earwigears here. I’m your friendly neighborhood-running Shadowgrunter.
I carry a watch, a notebook/pen, an arsenal of magical artefacts, illusion magic, and the ability to summon the native spirits of the Trolls.
Who needs a cyberdeck? I do, so, I am borrowing Billy Halibut’s cyberdeck at the moment. Billy is transcribing for me, so now that you know that, I’ll continue in the first person from here on out:
The image above shows words said by Creig Snotpuller (spelled it wrong above). Creig said it in October 2025.
Creig is a wise, wise troll. Creig’s words and pure heart often give me verve and bubbles to spend on brightening the corner. But you can only do so much. Gotta secure your safehouse before you go out into the streets fighting against powers that seek to decide your perspective for you.
This world is a cold, cold world. It often lets children suffer, and rewards vicious behavior as long as you’re rich. But just when you think it’s at its most terrible, the beauty and harshness of a 10 degree winter night introduces you to your gratitude for the 32 degree day. There’s beauty in evil, and in pain.
There’re good hearts in the harsh landscape, there’s sensuality even in a hail of bullets. The law is smoking hot, and it’s also “the lowest possible standard for ethical behavior.1” Ugliness contains beauty—like the core of a wart under a microscope.
I do not seek beauty. I seek kindness, gentleness, trust, affection, respect, sacrifice and community love. These are hard to find, and of high value.
When you’re a Shadowgrunt like me, you don’t have a lot of luxuries, but at least you are somewhat free from the all-seeing-corporate-eye. You can’t escape the system completely, and you end up supporting the corps no matter what you do, but you at least be at peace with yourself by trying.
Last long, and prosper, Earwigears OUT.
Thank you for reading Call Me Fishmael!
I love me very much, and you too, Reader!
Fresh wishes,
Billy Halibut
Enzhe Zaripova, lawyer.